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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25482631">‘Cause Sometimes the Target is You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marleycat/pseuds/Marleycat'>Marleycat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Meetings, M/M, Meet-Cute</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:02:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,506</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25482631</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marleycat/pseuds/Marleycat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An axe throwing meet cute for two men in which one is starting a business and the other is starting his life anew in Schitt's Creek.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd &amp; David Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Schitt’s Creek Sports Fest</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>‘Cause Sometimes the Target is You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">



        <li>In response to a prompt by
            Anonymous in the <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SCSportsFest">SCSportsFest</a>
          collection.
        </li>
    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <strong>Prompt:</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>These sports would normally play on ESPN 3 or other small market stations - Roller Derby, Bowling, Scrabble Tournaments, Spelling Bees, Billiards/Pool, Frisbee, hacky sack, beer pong, beer olympics, jello wrestling, competitive knitting. </p><p>Your submission for this prompt can be fully in an Alternate Universe, just canon divergent or fully canon compliant. For example:</p><p> </p><p>  <em> College AU with some beer pong/hacky sack/jello wrestling shenanigans? </em></p><p> </p><p>  <em>Meet ugly on opposite bowling teams?</em></p><p> </p><p>  <em>The Schitt's Creek Adult Spelling Bee to Benefit the random charity of your choice?</em></p><p> </p><p>  <em>Stevie Budd and the impressive roller derby team of the Schitt Heads road trip to Beast of the East in Montreal?</em></p><p> </p><p>If you can count points, it's a sport!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Why did you drag me out here?” David whined to Stevie as she shoved him through the flimsy door.</p><p>“Because you have been annoying me to no end at the motel about ‘your business plan this’ and ‘your business plan that’, but you have yet to make an appointment with Ray to get your dumb paperwork started or finish up signing the lease!” Stevie said as they approached the rustic wooden counter in the metal fabricated building which sat behind the Wobbly Elm.</p><p>David looked around at the sawdust on the floor, tree stump-looking cocktail tables, and metal cages and had no idea how he ended up here. Why couldn’t they just go smoke a joint instead?</p><p>“Hey folks, welcome to the Wobbly Axe and Ale! Is this your first time here?” an enthusiastic 20-something man with an unfortunate spiky haircut exclaimed from behind the counter.</p><p>“Yes!” Stevie said with a sarcastic smile as she glanced at David.  “We weren’t sure if you were open this early in the afternoon, but my friend and I would like to throw some axes!”</p><p>“What in the ever-loving fuck” David whispered under his breath.</p><p>“Alright! We actually have an early bird special for half off before 4 on throwing and drinks. I just need to see both of your IDs and have you read and sign this screen with a waiver.” Mr. Spiky shared.</p><p>“A waiver?!” David questioned. “How dangerous is this?”</p><p>“Just sign the screen, David.” Stevie elbowed David in the ribs. As David scrolled through, his forehead creasing at all the legal lingo, Stevie took out her wallet to order a can of beer for her, a wine spritzer for David and to pay for their axe throwing. Mr. Spiky told them to enjoy their drinks and that their instructor would be out in about 10 minutes to get them started.</p><p>David condescendingly wiped the top of the perfectly clean cocktail table before he sat his phone and his drink on it. Leaning on just the tip of his elbow, he sipped at the chilled drink and scrolled through some earlier texts from Alexis.</p><p>“Please tell me you're not doing more business plan crap right now” Stevie’s eyebrows raised as she took a chug of her beer.</p><p>David rolled his eyes, knowing she wasn’t going to let this go. “I have a lot to think about! I probably need more money, but I don't see that happening. Ronnie told me to come by whenever to finalize the lease by the end of the month. She said I don’t need the business incorporation before that, but I should get on that quickly and that Ray was the best to help. I have a basic vendor agreement ready at least. I am sure there is a lot more that I am forgetting.”</p><p>As David was finishing his explanation, he looked up to see the sunlight streaming again through the open door across the building. Stevie turned as well and they took in Ray Butani gleefully coming through and up to the counter, obviously already acquainted with Mr. Spiky. </p><p>Following behind him was a stranger neither of them had seen before. He looked to be around 30, sturdily built, but shorter than David. He had dark brown hair that was closely cut and a fair complexion comparable to Stevie’s. Wearing jeans and a medium blue button up shirt, he looked around the empty building before quietly standing a respectable distance from Ray at the counter.</p><p>“Well Mr. Butani’s ears must be burning.” Stevie laughed. “Maybe you can ask him about an appointment!”</p><p>“He’s obviously here not for business.” David shook his head, hoping that he would have had more time to work himself up to finish the store opening tasks.</p><p>“David, he owns three business already and consults for others, and seems to know Spike McGee at the front. You never know.”</p><p>“I thought we were here to have fun!” David quickly took a big swallow of his wine as he saw Ray approach.</p><p>“Stevie and David, how interesting to see you here!” Ray sing-songed his way over. Ray usually awkwardly avoided both of them if he saw them at the Cafe or elsewhere in town, so his friendly vibe was reciprocated with wide eye stares from Stevie and David who had rarely, if ever, interacted with him.</p><p>“Hi Ray.” Stevie said. “Come to get some energy out?”</p><p>“Something like that. David, a little birdy told me that you were going to be opening…”</p><p>Stevie, now seeing the slight panic in her friend’s face and sort of understanding his apprehension interjected, “Ray, who is your friend?” They all turned back to look at the stranger in blue, who was still intently reading the waiver document before finally signing his name and ordering a beer.</p><p>“Oh, that’s my new business-”</p><p>“Hi there gang!” A tall, portly man with a beard ambled up to them as Ray was speaking. “I’m Keith and will be your instructor today. Are you all together?” he said, rounding his finger towards Stevie, David, and Ray, along with the still unnamed stranger who was making his way over to the group.</p><p>“We’re together.” David said, pointing between his chest and Stevie.</p><p>“Well, since you all are the only ones here, it makes it a lot more fun to have everyone in one cage, two people to each target on either side. Then, I can instruct you all and you will get more throws in. Sound good?”</p><p>“Yes, let’s get to it!” Ray clapped, enamored with this idea and trailing behind Keith as he turned to lead them to their cage. Setting their drinks on the shallow wooden bar along the outside, Keith invited them all in to explain the safety procedures. They lined up across the back of the cage. </p><p>David was at the far end nearest the edge of the cage and Ray’s business friend was on the opposite side with Ray and Stevie between them. David tried to pay attention, but he still had thoughts about the store-to-be rattling around his head from Stevie and Ray’s questioning. He leaned back on his heels to take a better look at the mysterious man in blue. </p><p>He was clearly paying better attention than David, listening intently to Keith. David noted that his mid-range Levi’s fit him just right from this profile view, even with the choice of the straight leg cut and ugly braided belt. His button down was rolled up to his elbows and he seemed to be flexing his forearms unconsciously, the sinewy muscles catching David’s eye. The long line of his neck led up to some smaller ears, but the overhead can lights gave his pale skin a beautiful glow and brought out the copper highlights in his hair. At least the scenery was good.</p><p>“Ok, let’s throw!” Keith punctuated with pulling two axes out of the wooden targets at the end.</p><p>“You go first” David stage whispered to Stevie as he scooted out the back of the cage to retrieve the remainder of his wine. Ray, being the person he was, jumped in front of the target without a word, leaving his business associate to go second. The man walked out of the back of the cage and went to get his beer which he hadn’t even had a chance to open yet. </p><p>David sipped on his drink delicately and watched as Keith towered over Stevie, showing her the technique of pulling the axe over her head and the follow through needed. At least if David watched Stevie’s fuck-ups, he could avoid doing the same.</p><p>“I’m Patrick, by the way” the now-named stranger had moved closer to David and stuck his hand out.</p><p>“David.” he said, feeling the firm grip of Patrck’s hand as he gave David a slight smile. David returned to watching Stevie attempt to throw on her own.</p><p>“David Rose?”</p><p>David felt the prickling heat flare up his spine. Did this guy recognize him from his past tabloid exploits, or know the sad story of his family's financial collapse and now wanted to ask him about it? This is not what David needed today.</p><p>“Um, yep. How did you know?” David grimaced slightly, still watching Stevie and now Ray completely fail at hitting the target, their axes landing nowhere near the target or even the board.</p><p>“Oh, just Ray had mentioned something about you taking over that general store space? Ray likes to gossip and shared that about you. I came on to do some business consulting for him and people in town recently so he could handle his other projects.”</p><p>David sighed slightly, relieved that it was actually about the store now. “Yeah, I mean, I just got approval from the town board, barely. I still have a lot to do to get it going.”</p><p>“Ok, let’s switch!” Keith’s voice bellowed out. </p><p>David took the last swig of wine from his can and followed behind Patrick towards the cage entrance after Stevie and Ray left. After confirming that both men were new to the wonders of axe throwing, Keith went through the instructions. Seeming athletic under the business casual look, Patrick attempted to throw right after Keith’s explanation and hit the outer ring of the target on his first attempt.</p><p>David, self conscious of his sweater riding up and his too-tight jeans, took his time to figure out the mechanics of the throw. Avoiding his carefully sculpted hair, he extended his long arms over his head and propelled his weight forward. The axe cut through the air and sliced into the board, but still a little too high to score any points.</p><p>Keith gave them each some pointers, and David hesitated to keep throwing as he found himself captivated by how Patrick’s compact body moved as he threw. Without any motion wasted, he progressively became more accurate, enthusiastic about his success with little fist pumps and hand claps thrown in after striking the scored areas.</p><p>Not wanting to scare off an obvious straight guy with his staring, David returned to the task at hand and tried to do his best to improve. He wanted to at least have this to hold over Stevie’s head since she dragged him here. He wasn’t great, but at least he hit the target a few more times.</p><p>Keith called them to attention and asked David and Patrick to put their axes down. He explained the game challenge to the four of them. Each team would have a player throw until they reached 5 points. Then their teammate would switch with them and try to get to the next 5 points and so on, switching until one team got to 30 points.</p><p>Ray and Stevie stepped back into the cage to start and David figured he had some time until he was going to have to throw again.</p><p>“So, how did you end up in Schitt’s Creek?” David asked Patrick as he drank more of his beer.</p><p>“Ah, I was looking for a change, and happened to find a posting Ray had for the job along with a room to rent, I moved here about 3 weeks ago. Ray thought this would be a good team building exercise.”</p><p>“Living and working with Ray, that must be…”</p><p>“Interesting, yes.” Patrick said with a chuckle, looking down at his drink.</p><p>“I have no space to talk, I guess. I share a motel room with my sister which is attached to a room with my parents.”</p><p>David looked up to see Stevie and Ray still flailing away. Poor Keith was holding the chalk he was using to keep score hopefully, unable to tally anything for either team yet.</p><p>“Some family bonding, for sure.” Patrick gave David a funny little upside down smile. “So, what’s the name of your business?”</p><p>“Well, I am oscillating between two. The leader is ‘Rose Apothecary’”</p><p>“Oscillating... Rose Apothecary, huh?” Patrick echoed with a lilt in his voice. “It’s just pretentious enough.”</p><p>“Okay, would we call that pretentious, or timeless? I mean, we all can’t be ‘Wobbly Axe and Ale’, now can we?” David cocked his head slightly, wishing he had more to drink.</p><p>“Alright, you did it!” Keith yelled out, looking at an exhausted Ray and Stevie, both of whom had finally made it to 5 points at the same time. </p><p>David felt startled after the repartee with Patrick ended, and almost wished that they could keep going. </p><p>David and Patrick both assumed their positions at the end of the lanes and started throwing on Keith’s command. Before David was fully extended to throw, Patrick was cheering and David saw that his first shot hit dead center on the 5 point bullseye. He looked over at David, raised his faint eyebrows, and stepped out of the cage. </p><p>David took a deep breath and threw, unaccustomed to the feeling of wanting to continue a conversation like he did with Patrick. His first shot got him 2 points, and he watched Ray amble back into the cage to fruitlessly start throwing again. David quickly set up again, but only got 1 point this time. His next throw missed the target all together. </p><p>Sighing deeply, he envisioned the face of Sebastian Raine, his ex who had made an unfortunate stop in Schitt’s Creek just a month before on the board. Winding his arms back, David threw with all he had and nailed the bullseye as well. Huffing out a breath of relief, he waited for Ray to throw before they went to retrieve their axes and he could switch again with Stevie. </p><p>As he turned toward the bar ledge on the side of the cage, he saw an unopened can of the same drink he had earlier. Patrick looked up from his phone. “I figured you could use another one, especially after that last throw, nicely done”.</p><p>“Thank you.” David said quietly as he pulled the tab on the can. He took a large sip, unsure if the flush he was feeling was from the alcohol or having a seemingly nice man buy it for him.</p><p>“So, ‘Rose Apothecary’. What will it be?” Patrick asked sincerely. </p><p>David set his can down so he could fully explain. “It's a general store, but it's also a very specific store. It's also not just a store, it's like a place where people can come and get coffee or drinks, but it's not a coffee shop, nor is it a bar.”</p><p>“So you’re pretty sure what it’s not.” Patrick’s eyes seemed to scrunch up as he was trying to follow.</p><p>David undeterred, continued “Yeah, it's an environment. And yes, we will be selling things, but it's more like a branded immersive experience.” David took a deep breath and grabbed for his can which he had nearly knocked over as his hands emphasized his description. He drank about half of it to shove down the anxiety he was feeling about sharing his dream with someone who actually knew something regarding businesses.</p><p>“I love the buzzwords, but what exactly are you selling?”</p><p>“It’s basically a general store. Um, that will support local artists under the brand of the store, which-which would also be my brand. Oh...” </p><p>David stopped to look down at his phone which had pinged with a text. It was an S.O.S. from Stevie. He looked up to see her and Ray exhausted and propped against the chain link. Even Keith was leaning against the opening of the cage, staring off into space, realizing he didn’t get paid enough for this job. David shook his head minutely at Stevie before returning to Patrick with a bit more confidence.</p><p>“I want to curate a selection of products from local vendors and sell them on consignment in a one-stop-shop retail environment that benefits the vendor and the customer. Lotions, skincare, candles, occasional furniture, decor, wine, teas, food items, high-end artisan goods and gifts.”</p><p>Patrick smiled warmly at David. “It's a good idea, your business. Re-branding local products and crafts, it's very inventive.”</p><p>“This town is severely lacking in style and taste, and maybe I can help put that all under one roof.”</p><p>“I’m sure you can.”</p><p>“Ok folks, our time is up and it’s a tie.” Keith gratefully called out. David and Patrick both took a look at their teammates and shrugged, unaware so much time had passed. </p><p>Stevie came out of the cage and pressed her car keys into David’s hand. “You’re driving. I need another beer or five after that.” as she stumbled back over to Mr. Spiky at the counter. </p><p>Ray came up to David and Patrick, stretching his now-sore arms all around his body. “David! I see you met Patrick, my new associate. I was going to ask you earlier, but I heard about you and the general store. Businessman to future businessman, tell me how that check you got from Wendy at the Blouse Barn after your little pretend-lawyer scheme is going to cover all of your overhead?”</p><p>Patrick recognized the terror on David’s face as Ray bulldozed through their conversation, obviously speaking about things that David did not share with others. “Actually Ray, David was just telling me about his business.  Everything about it is really impressive, I mean the whole model is actually very sustainable. I think he is going to be very successful.”</p><p>“Well that’s what we said about the old General Store, but I wish you luck just the same David. Patrick, I am going to stretch out by walking home. I’ll see you later”. Ray reached out to clasp David on the shoulder which made David’s face recoil even more. David looked at Patrick and was soothed by the warm, calming look in his eyes.</p><p>“Thank you for saving me there, though you didn’t have to lie to Ray about what you thought about my business...and me.” David shyly looked anywhere but at Patrick.</p><p>“David, I wasn’t lying. I would have told you the same thing if it was just us two still talking. It really is a great idea. I don’t mean to be nosy, but I think it would be hard to top Ray at this point. I am guessing you haven’t filed your incorporation papers yet.”</p><p>“No, I was working up to that, and signing the lease. And also considering how much start up money I really need. Ray wasn’t exactly off the mark there.” David looked down and kicked a bit of the sawdust gathered at the edge of the cage. </p><p>“Well, I am handling most of the paperwork stuff at Ray’s right now. After what you’ve told me, I can probably complete a lot of it, but we could review it together so you could get the ball rolling. What do you say about meeting at 10am tomorrow?”</p><p>“Can we make it 1pm?”</p><p>“Sure, and another thing. Those start up costs, they are always more than you think from my experience, so I get your trepidation. But when you're supporting local businesses, there are grants that you can apply for. I’d be happy to go through them with you. Maybe we could explore a partnership or something if you are looking for more in depth business consulting? I think you’ve really got something David. It just sounds like you need some help.”</p><p>What planet did this considerate, smart, sincere man land from? On top of that, David was happy to have another chance to see Patrick's other business casual looks in a more professional setting. “Umm, sure. We can definitely explore that. Just, if I don’t get the grants, I don’t know how much of a partnership that will be.” David, for the first time in a long time, could feel a spark a hope.</p><p>“Oh, I’m going to get the money.” Patrick confidently stated. David's heart was now lodged firmly in his throat thanks to Patrick’s bravado.</p><p>David tried to calm himself by checking in on Stevie who had her head tipped back, finishing what looked like the second can of beer Mr. Spiky had set in front of her. It was probably time to get her home. Turning back to Patrick, he said “I guess I will see you at 1pm tomorrow then?”</p><p>“Yep, it’s a date” Patrick winked. “I look forward to our possible partnership, and maybe a rematch at axes on our own? Bye for now, David.” Patrick calmly walked toward the exit door, giving a little wave goodbye to Stevie as she leaned against the entry counter.</p><p>David tried to settle the jangly nerves inside of him. Did he just flirt with a potential business partner who complimented his ideas in between axe throwing? What is his life?</p><p>Grabbing his empties, he walked over to Stevie. As they made their way to the door, she rubbed her aching shoulder, drunk and slightly oblivious to everything that had happened. “I am sorry for dragging you out here today, David.”</p><p>“Stevie, I’m not.” David strode to Stevie’s car, eyes on the prize of what was to come in his future.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title taken from the Rush song "The Wreckers".</p><p>Thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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